Have you ever found yourself debating about going somewhere – your high school reunion, a networking event, the store to buy more milk? I mean, really debating. The event is harmless enough but you just don’t have the energy to go. It's a little inconvenient - but you probably should go. You find yourself sitting on the couch with one shoe on, thinking, “Should I bother?”
My advice: Go. Put on that other shoe and GO. Those moments, the moments when you can’t see the immediate benefit of going to a function but there is nothing to lose by going, are usually the ones where something life-altering happens. Don’t believe me? I have two very specific examples. One for my personal life and one for my professional life.
The year: 1998. The month: November. I was in that stage of a love-life when your mantra is“who needs ‘em?” and happy with being there. I was at a really good place in my life - happy in my own skin and knowing what my skin looked like (warts and all).
I got word that my 10-year high school reunion was happening. Say no more, right? I didn’t sign up to go. All the people from high school who I wanted in my life were already in my life. I did, however, have much better hair, lost my baby fat (is it baby fat in high school??), and a WOW dress. I debated with myself whether I should go. It would be fun to show up after 10 years with a lot more confidence, a better fashion sense, and no Joan Jett hair. The night of the reunion, I brought my mom into the debate.
“Just go,” she told me.
I put on that dress and showed up at the reunion. Within five minutes, I saw him. “Who’s that??” I asked my friend. “That’s Bob Bellwoar,” she said in an isn’t-he-dreamy voice. [If you’ve notice my last name, you can guess the ending of this story.] I never knew him in high school, nor he me. We ran in different circles and had no shared classes. At the reunion, I made it my mission to get to know Bob Bellwoar - for the fun details, we can talk offline. Three kids later, we are still amazed at our luck -- he wasn’t going to go either!
Reunion coming up? Go.
I now offer you exhibit number 2:
The year: 2010. Three kids. Working part-time. Tinkering with the idea of going back full-time. Learn that there is a networking event for the Healthcare Businesswomen’s Association in Philadelphia. I’m debating on whether I want to go – I’m going to be late for it. It’s a little cold outside (once again the month is November - no lie). It's all the way in the city.
Ok, ok. I’ll go.
Thank God I did.
That was the night that I talked to Eileen O’Brien of Siren Interactive and let her know of my professional aspirations. Not long after, I got an email from Eileen introducing me to the women who is now my boss. Oh, and I serve on the Corporate Board for the HBA with the owner of the company – so when my name was mentioned, she knew who I was (I have to give that plug for the power of networking – especially with the HBA).
There you have it. When you feel that going to an event will neither make nor break you - and the only reason you're not convinced you should go is because it might be a little inconvenient: Go.
What else did I learn from these two events in my life:
1. When you're happy with who you are and what you're doing, others will be more willing to be a part of your life - so work at being happy and exude that confidence with being in your own skin.
2. Again, the power of chit-chat. I shared something about myself that opened up a new door. When you're networking with an acquaintance, be willing to share a part of your life that you wouldn't share with someone you've just met. It brings them into your circle.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Ooooh, what's her name...
When you’re in a room full of people and someone who looks sooooo familiar approaches you with a big smile and greets you by name, what is your biggest fear?
When you approach someone you’ve met a few times and they look like a 7th-grader trying to recall the 12th amendment for an oral exam because your name isn’t coming to them, how does it make you feel?
Forgetting names. Mispronouncing names. Calling someone by the wrong name (ugh - that’s the worst and I do it more than I’d like to admit). Happens all the time. Most people forgive the blunder, but that doesn’t make it any less awkward.
What can we do?
First, when you meet someone, do your best to make it easy for the other person to remember and pronounce your name. My friend Ashley gave me a great tip: say your first name, pause, and then say your first and last name (think James Bond in reverse).
For me, pronouncing my name always throws people for a loop. Honestly: Ciaran Bellwoar – who’s going to get that right?! So, I introduce myself and give a hint: “Hi, I’m Ciaran – kind of sounds like beer.” If the person says “Karen?” I say, “No, not Karen, Kieran.” I’m lucky in the Chit-Chat sense because this usually sparks a conversation about how I was named. (Ask me next time you see me if you don’t know.)
One corporate coach suggests that you associate your name with something to make it memorable. She introduces herself as “Susan Morris – like Morris the Cat.” I met her five years ago and still remember that. See? It does work.
What about when we’re on the other side – someone introduces themselves or is introduced to us and they offer nothing but a big smile and a hand shake. Two seconds later their name is erased from our memory and we need to introduce them to someone else. Can you say Awkward…
If it’s an unusual name – say it back to them so that you know you are saying it correctly. Then repeat it and ask about it. Chances are they are used to some sort of reaction. “Ciaran. That’s so unique. Is that a family name?” or “How do you spell that?” In your mind associate it with something.
I often struggle with more common names that could be pronounced one way or another. Is it “Maryanne or Marion?” “Steven or Stefan” “Caroline or Carolyn.” I try to repeat it a few times and just ingrain it into my mind.
What if it’s an easy name, like Bill Jones? Oh, just sneak a peek at his name badge.
Sports Quick Hit
For those of us who aren’t avid sports followers but are usually in a meeting with others who are, I offer this tidbit:
Sport: Baseball
Topic: The Race for the Pennant
Info you need to be able to nod your head knowingly: Teams are now trying to better their ranking within their divisions (American League & National League which both have East, West & Central divisions – six in all) to make it to post-season championship series.
Leading teams are:
Atlanta, Philly (hooray), Cincinnati, St. Louis, NY Yankees, Tampa Bay (these two teams are super close), Minnesota, and Texas Rangers. If someone mentions the Wild Card, that means one of two spots in each League that is up for grabs to a team that doesn’t automatically win their division but has the best record).
Hope it helps.
When you approach someone you’ve met a few times and they look like a 7th-grader trying to recall the 12th amendment for an oral exam because your name isn’t coming to them, how does it make you feel?
Forgetting names. Mispronouncing names. Calling someone by the wrong name (ugh - that’s the worst and I do it more than I’d like to admit). Happens all the time. Most people forgive the blunder, but that doesn’t make it any less awkward.
What can we do?
First, when you meet someone, do your best to make it easy for the other person to remember and pronounce your name. My friend Ashley gave me a great tip: say your first name, pause, and then say your first and last name (think James Bond in reverse).
For me, pronouncing my name always throws people for a loop. Honestly: Ciaran Bellwoar – who’s going to get that right?! So, I introduce myself and give a hint: “Hi, I’m Ciaran – kind of sounds like beer.” If the person says “Karen?” I say, “No, not Karen, Kieran.” I’m lucky in the Chit-Chat sense because this usually sparks a conversation about how I was named. (Ask me next time you see me if you don’t know.)
One corporate coach suggests that you associate your name with something to make it memorable. She introduces herself as “Susan Morris – like Morris the Cat.” I met her five years ago and still remember that. See? It does work.
What about when we’re on the other side – someone introduces themselves or is introduced to us and they offer nothing but a big smile and a hand shake. Two seconds later their name is erased from our memory and we need to introduce them to someone else. Can you say Awkward…
If it’s an unusual name – say it back to them so that you know you are saying it correctly. Then repeat it and ask about it. Chances are they are used to some sort of reaction. “Ciaran. That’s so unique. Is that a family name?” or “How do you spell that?” In your mind associate it with something.
I often struggle with more common names that could be pronounced one way or another. Is it “Maryanne or Marion?” “Steven or Stefan” “Caroline or Carolyn.” I try to repeat it a few times and just ingrain it into my mind.
What if it’s an easy name, like Bill Jones? Oh, just sneak a peek at his name badge.
Sports Quick Hit
For those of us who aren’t avid sports followers but are usually in a meeting with others who are, I offer this tidbit:
Sport: Baseball
Topic: The Race for the Pennant
Info you need to be able to nod your head knowingly: Teams are now trying to better their ranking within their divisions (American League & National League which both have East, West & Central divisions – six in all) to make it to post-season championship series.
Leading teams are:
Atlanta, Philly (hooray), Cincinnati, St. Louis, NY Yankees, Tampa Bay (these two teams are super close), Minnesota, and Texas Rangers. If someone mentions the Wild Card, that means one of two spots in each League that is up for grabs to a team that doesn’t automatically win their division but has the best record).
Hope it helps.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
My Recent Networking Lesson Learned
I was at a Healthcare Businesswomen's Association Dine-Around last week at the Salt Creek Grille in Princeton – fabulous venue, by the way. Dine-Arounds are geared specifically for networking: limited number of attendees and an intimate setting make it easy to meet and talk to new people and spend time with others you know.
As I’ve been so gung-ho about touting my Chit-Chat flag, I was really looking forward to this event and putting my money where my mouth is.
Things started out fine. Dine-Arounds are one of our newer formats for events; this was the first time the Philadelphia Chapter had an event in Princeton. Starting a conversation came naturally:
“Do you live nearby?” “Is this your first Dine-Around?” “Have you been to this restaurant before?” Oh, and yummy hors d’oeuvres always start a conversation. “Did you try the shrimp wrapped in bacon?”
Then, disaster hit. Here’s the play by play of my lesson learned of the night:
There was a group of four lovely ladies standing in an open-faced group, clearly welcome to the idea of someone joining them. They looked friendly, and indeed, when I welcomed them all as Chapter President to the event, they gave me big smiles and said it was nice to be there. I started with a safe enough question: “Has everyone been a member of the HBA for long?” They all answered very pleasantly. And a conversation stemmed from that. Fabulous, right?
Wrong.
I stuck to my agenda of using some of my suggested networking questions – which at this point seemed more important for me to ask then to actually continue any conversation. I was not an active listener. I had complete networking tunnel vision.
“So,” I started, “I’m testing out a networking question and want to know if anyone has any go-to summer recipes to share?” SCREEEECH. As the last word left my mouth, before I received the appropriately confused/blank looks, I knew I had made a huge mistake. Huge. It’s still painful to think about. I didn’t follow any of my advice. At all.
I didn’t make it about them – “I’m testing out a networking question” – eeewwww.
I didn't let the conversation flow naturally.
I asked a question that should come only after it's been established that the other person is interested in cooking.
At a good pause in the conversation, a much better question would have been: “Do you have a favorite summertime restaurant?” I think it’s fair to say if you’re at a restaurant, chances are people you meet like other restaurants, but not everyone actually likes to cook.
I was saved by one of the women who, after I acknowledged my flub and apologized to the group, recommended a delicious way to grill salmon.
What's my take-away from the night?
I need to always, always, always remember that the art of chit-chat is about them not me. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go write that 100 times.
Do you have any favorite ways to engage a group in chit-chat? Please share. I definitely need some!
As I’ve been so gung-ho about touting my Chit-Chat flag, I was really looking forward to this event and putting my money where my mouth is.
Things started out fine. Dine-Arounds are one of our newer formats for events; this was the first time the Philadelphia Chapter had an event in Princeton. Starting a conversation came naturally:
“Do you live nearby?” “Is this your first Dine-Around?” “Have you been to this restaurant before?” Oh, and yummy hors d’oeuvres always start a conversation. “Did you try the shrimp wrapped in bacon?”
Then, disaster hit. Here’s the play by play of my lesson learned of the night:
There was a group of four lovely ladies standing in an open-faced group, clearly welcome to the idea of someone joining them. They looked friendly, and indeed, when I welcomed them all as Chapter President to the event, they gave me big smiles and said it was nice to be there. I started with a safe enough question: “Has everyone been a member of the HBA for long?” They all answered very pleasantly. And a conversation stemmed from that. Fabulous, right?
Wrong.
I stuck to my agenda of using some of my suggested networking questions – which at this point seemed more important for me to ask then to actually continue any conversation. I was not an active listener. I had complete networking tunnel vision.
“So,” I started, “I’m testing out a networking question and want to know if anyone has any go-to summer recipes to share?” SCREEEECH. As the last word left my mouth, before I received the appropriately confused/blank looks, I knew I had made a huge mistake. Huge. It’s still painful to think about. I didn’t follow any of my advice. At all.
I didn’t make it about them – “I’m testing out a networking question” – eeewwww.
I didn't let the conversation flow naturally.
I asked a question that should come only after it's been established that the other person is interested in cooking.
At a good pause in the conversation, a much better question would have been: “Do you have a favorite summertime restaurant?” I think it’s fair to say if you’re at a restaurant, chances are people you meet like other restaurants, but not everyone actually likes to cook.
I was saved by one of the women who, after I acknowledged my flub and apologized to the group, recommended a delicious way to grill salmon.
What's my take-away from the night?
I need to always, always, always remember that the art of chit-chat is about them not me. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go write that 100 times.
Do you have any favorite ways to engage a group in chit-chat? Please share. I definitely need some!
Monday, July 19, 2010
Today's blog is about that ever important "Elevator Speech" that we all spend so much time crafting, perfecting, and tweaking - and if you're like me - forgetting to use.
I've learned that it's OK to forget it - or even better yet, not to have one. At least not a scripted one.
If you buy into my Chit-Chat theory (easy banter that is fun and gives you a peek into another person's life thereby developing a really nice relationship with that person), you know there's a time and a place for the elevator speech and that's when you don't want to have a good conversation.
Honestly, would you really want to talk to someone who upon first meeting you says, "Hi, I'm Ciaran and I work for an innovative interactive agency that provides results-driven solutions to our clients. What do you do?" Or would you give me a polite nod and say, "Oh, I work for Comcast. I see a friend of mine over there. Nice meeting you."
Chit-Chat is about the other person. Period. Stories that you share and questions that you ask have to interest them. I don't know many people who like to talk to someone who monopolizes a conversation with their opinions or never asks what the other person thinks.
So, how do we bring this to life?
Asking questions to learn about another person can be a little tricky. Children, marriage, and jobs can be sticky subjects. Asking about any fun vacations is always a go-to, but that's such a common question the other person probably has a stock answer.
Here are some questions I'm going to try at a networking event I'm going to on Wednesday. I'll let you know how it goes (feel free to steal them and share any good conversations they started):
"What’s your go-to summer recipe?"
"I’m looking for a kid-friendly day trip – any recommendations?" [this may be a clue as to whether or not they have kids]
"My ten-year wedding anniversary is coming up - we're choosing between an all-inclusive island resort or a trip to Europe - any thoughts?" [this shares a tid-bit about you]
"I've been looking forward to trying this restaurant [or fill in the blank with appropriate noun] - have you been here before?"
One of these has got to get a good Chit-Chat session going.
I've learned that it's OK to forget it - or even better yet, not to have one. At least not a scripted one.
If you buy into my Chit-Chat theory (easy banter that is fun and gives you a peek into another person's life thereby developing a really nice relationship with that person), you know there's a time and a place for the elevator speech and that's when you don't want to have a good conversation.
Honestly, would you really want to talk to someone who upon first meeting you says, "Hi, I'm Ciaran and I work for an innovative interactive agency that provides results-driven solutions to our clients. What do you do?" Or would you give me a polite nod and say, "Oh, I work for Comcast. I see a friend of mine over there. Nice meeting you."
Chit-Chat is about the other person. Period. Stories that you share and questions that you ask have to interest them. I don't know many people who like to talk to someone who monopolizes a conversation with their opinions or never asks what the other person thinks.
So, how do we bring this to life?
Asking questions to learn about another person can be a little tricky. Children, marriage, and jobs can be sticky subjects. Asking about any fun vacations is always a go-to, but that's such a common question the other person probably has a stock answer.
Here are some questions I'm going to try at a networking event I'm going to on Wednesday. I'll let you know how it goes (feel free to steal them and share any good conversations they started):
"What’s your go-to summer recipe?"
"I’m looking for a kid-friendly day trip – any recommendations?" [this may be a clue as to whether or not they have kids]
"My ten-year wedding anniversary is coming up - we're choosing between an all-inclusive island resort or a trip to Europe - any thoughts?" [this shares a tid-bit about you]
"I've been looking forward to trying this restaurant [or fill in the blank with appropriate noun] - have you been here before?"
One of these has got to get a good Chit-Chat session going.
Monday, July 12, 2010
Great Networking Tips from My 2-Year-Old
My best networking mentor is my 2-year-old daughter, Sabrina.
What?! What?! What?!
The best, I say.
When we go for a walk in our neighborhood, she is always invited to sit on someone's porch and have a glass of lemonade or some animal cookies. At the pool, kids willingly hand over toys they are playing with for her to have a turn. When we pick the boys up from school and all the youngsters are rejoicing in their freedom, she can be found in the middle of a game of tag.
What's her secret and how can those of us not so outgoing cop on?
First, she waves to pretty much anybody. If she sees somebody even slightly familiar, she says, "I see?" which means, "Will you take me across the street so I can say hi?"
Second, she has a pretty good memory for someone who still drinks from a sippy cup. She remembers people's names and what they like.
Third, she's not afraid to ask to join in when people are having fun. Remarkably, she does seem to have some boundaries so she's not overbearing.
Lastly, and this I take full and complete credit for: I bring her places. We go for walks almost every night. We go to the pool. She tags along to pick up the boys. She has plenty of opportunity to socialize and see familiar faces.
The next time you have to go to an event and are feeling a little reluctant to network, find your inner 2-year-old child (or picture mine 'cause she's as cute as can be), give a genuine smile and "hi" to five new people and when you see one familiar face, make a bigger deal over this person than the last time you saw them, do your best to remember their name and something they like.
If you're feeling brave, look around and find a group of three or more people who are having a lively conversation, go up and say with your biggest smile, "You look like one of the fun groups here, may I join you?" It's the grown-up version of being in the middle of a game of tag.
What?! What?! What?!
The best, I say.
When we go for a walk in our neighborhood, she is always invited to sit on someone's porch and have a glass of lemonade or some animal cookies. At the pool, kids willingly hand over toys they are playing with for her to have a turn. When we pick the boys up from school and all the youngsters are rejoicing in their freedom, she can be found in the middle of a game of tag.
What's her secret and how can those of us not so outgoing cop on?
First, she waves to pretty much anybody. If she sees somebody even slightly familiar, she says, "I see?" which means, "Will you take me across the street so I can say hi?"
Second, she has a pretty good memory for someone who still drinks from a sippy cup. She remembers people's names and what they like.
Third, she's not afraid to ask to join in when people are having fun. Remarkably, she does seem to have some boundaries so she's not overbearing.
Lastly, and this I take full and complete credit for: I bring her places. We go for walks almost every night. We go to the pool. She tags along to pick up the boys. She has plenty of opportunity to socialize and see familiar faces.
The next time you have to go to an event and are feeling a little reluctant to network, find your inner 2-year-old child (or picture mine 'cause she's as cute as can be), give a genuine smile and "hi" to five new people and when you see one familiar face, make a bigger deal over this person than the last time you saw them, do your best to remember their name and something they like.
If you're feeling brave, look around and find a group of three or more people who are having a lively conversation, go up and say with your biggest smile, "You look like one of the fun groups here, may I join you?" It's the grown-up version of being in the middle of a game of tag.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Authentic Chit-Chat
Chit-Chat.
Doesn't sound like much. Maybe the term even conjures up an image of a 1950s hair salon, women in curlers dishing about poor Pamela under their dryers.
I've learned not to be so dismissive of Chit-Chat. When done correctly, it's the ultimate form of conversation and relationship building.
I've found to do it well and effortlessly takes a few steps (and practice):
1. Show interest or admiration in someone's endeavors, accomplishments, or hobbies.
2. Ask quality questions.
3. Share something about yourself. Be respectful here. I don't know many people who want to know that your stepfather just had a hip replaced and your taking care of his nine-year-old German Shepard who hates cats - and off course you have two and you don't know how much longer you can go without changing the litter box. However, they may be interested to hear that your stepfather taught you how to water ski.
4. Don't offer unsolicited advice. Ever. Even when you know the advice you have will save them $1,000.
Bonus step: give a little good-natured tease.
The best places for Chit-Chat: In-person networking events, the golf course, and Facebook. That's right. Facebook is the ultimate Chit-Chat place. People post a cute clip of their kids dancing to Lady GaGa. You and ten of their friends post a comment about it being sooooooooo cute. They let everyone know they appreciate the nice comments. Even though you haven't seen this person in four years, there is a bond. All it took was one line about how cute the kids were.
On the other hand, if you only looked at the clip and did not comment: no bond. You're a voyeur. This person will probably never respond to anything you post - and especially the post that makes them have to do something or involves money.
Same goes for an in-person event. Someone gives an awesome presentation. You leave afterward filled with great ideas about how you are going to improve your personal brand. Ooooooh, you can't wait to start updating your resume. But you don't make an effort to thank the speaker or talk to any of the other participants to get their thoughts.
Think you're going to build any relationships? Will anyone be happy to see you again at the next event? What if you turned to the person next to you, smiled, and said, "That point she made about knowing my true strengths is what I really needed to hear. How about you?"
There it is. Chit-Chat is a great way to build relationships (obviously there will be more in depth conversations, but in-person networking events and facebook are not the venue for those). I'll talk about golf later. Believe me there's a lot to be said about golf and chit-chat and networking...
Doesn't sound like much. Maybe the term even conjures up an image of a 1950s hair salon, women in curlers dishing about poor Pamela under their dryers.
I've learned not to be so dismissive of Chit-Chat. When done correctly, it's the ultimate form of conversation and relationship building.
I've found to do it well and effortlessly takes a few steps (and practice):
1. Show interest or admiration in someone's endeavors, accomplishments, or hobbies.
2. Ask quality questions.
3. Share something about yourself. Be respectful here. I don't know many people who want to know that your stepfather just had a hip replaced and your taking care of his nine-year-old German Shepard who hates cats - and off course you have two and you don't know how much longer you can go without changing the litter box. However, they may be interested to hear that your stepfather taught you how to water ski.
4. Don't offer unsolicited advice. Ever. Even when you know the advice you have will save them $1,000.
Bonus step: give a little good-natured tease.
The best places for Chit-Chat: In-person networking events, the golf course, and Facebook. That's right. Facebook is the ultimate Chit-Chat place. People post a cute clip of their kids dancing to Lady GaGa. You and ten of their friends post a comment about it being sooooooooo cute. They let everyone know they appreciate the nice comments. Even though you haven't seen this person in four years, there is a bond. All it took was one line about how cute the kids were.
On the other hand, if you only looked at the clip and did not comment: no bond. You're a voyeur. This person will probably never respond to anything you post - and especially the post that makes them have to do something or involves money.
Same goes for an in-person event. Someone gives an awesome presentation. You leave afterward filled with great ideas about how you are going to improve your personal brand. Ooooooh, you can't wait to start updating your resume. But you don't make an effort to thank the speaker or talk to any of the other participants to get their thoughts.
Think you're going to build any relationships? Will anyone be happy to see you again at the next event? What if you turned to the person next to you, smiled, and said, "That point she made about knowing my true strengths is what I really needed to hear. How about you?"
There it is. Chit-Chat is a great way to build relationships (obviously there will be more in depth conversations, but in-person networking events and facebook are not the venue for those). I'll talk about golf later. Believe me there's a lot to be said about golf and chit-chat and networking...
Monday, July 5, 2010
My "Go To" Networking Tip & Intro
Welcome!
Five and a half years ago I got a new sales job in a new industry and had no contacts and little knowledge of the industry. I had no fear of cold calling. So that's what I did.
As anyone in sales will tell you, cold calling is not a great ROI. Meeting and talking to someone F2F is by far the best way to build a relationship. I had to embrace networking and learn some hard lessons along the way.
Today, I am the president of the second largest chapter of the Healthcare Businesswomen's Association. Our Chapter is ranked as one of the top ten networking associations in our area. Have I picked up some great networking experience? Absolutely. Have I witnessed first hand women not making the most of networking opportunities? Definitely. Am I still learning about networking and communicating? Every day.
This blog is meant to share what I learn. I have a some stories and tips in the bank, so I'll start there. The format should be easy to follow.
Tip:
Wear a "come talk to me" pair of shoes.
When it's applicable:
- You've been told you may seem unapproachable by employees
- You know you won't have the energy to start a lot of conversations during the networking portion of an event
- You don't feel comfortable networking. Period.
Why:
A distinct, tasteful pair of shoes or other accessory gives others a reason to start a conversation with you.
What next:
Please don't say "Thank You" and walk away. Continue the conversation by having a tidbit to go along with the accessory. "Oh, I got this in Paris on my last trip" or "My mother gave this to me when I graduated from law school". Or even something as simple as, "These shoes seem to be a conversation starter and I don't know anyone here, so thank you for coming up to me - is this your first time at one of these events?"
After a few minutes, say how nice it was to meet the person and move on by saying - "Wow, did you see her shoes? I'd like to hear that story."
Five and a half years ago I got a new sales job in a new industry and had no contacts and little knowledge of the industry. I had no fear of cold calling. So that's what I did.
As anyone in sales will tell you, cold calling is not a great ROI. Meeting and talking to someone F2F is by far the best way to build a relationship. I had to embrace networking and learn some hard lessons along the way.
Today, I am the president of the second largest chapter of the Healthcare Businesswomen's Association. Our Chapter is ranked as one of the top ten networking associations in our area. Have I picked up some great networking experience? Absolutely. Have I witnessed first hand women not making the most of networking opportunities? Definitely. Am I still learning about networking and communicating? Every day.
This blog is meant to share what I learn. I have a some stories and tips in the bank, so I'll start there. The format should be easy to follow.
Tip:
Wear a "come talk to me" pair of shoes.
When it's applicable:
- You've been told you may seem unapproachable by employees
- You know you won't have the energy to start a lot of conversations during the networking portion of an event
- You don't feel comfortable networking. Period.
Why:
A distinct, tasteful pair of shoes or other accessory gives others a reason to start a conversation with you.
What next:
Please don't say "Thank You" and walk away. Continue the conversation by having a tidbit to go along with the accessory. "Oh, I got this in Paris on my last trip" or "My mother gave this to me when I graduated from law school". Or even something as simple as, "These shoes seem to be a conversation starter and I don't know anyone here, so thank you for coming up to me - is this your first time at one of these events?"
After a few minutes, say how nice it was to meet the person and move on by saying - "Wow, did you see her shoes? I'd like to hear that story."
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