Authentic Chit-Chat

Chit-Chat.

Doesn't sound like much. Maybe the term even conjures up an image of a 1950s hair salon, women in curlers dishing about poor Pamela under their dryers.

I've learned not to be so dismissive of Chit-Chat. When done correctly, it's the ultimate form of conversation and relationship building.

I've found to do it well and effortlessly takes a few steps (and practice):
1. Show interest or admiration in someone's endeavors, accomplishments, or hobbies.
2. Ask quality questions.
3. Share something about yourself. Be respectful here. I don't know many people who want to know that your stepfather just had a hip replaced and your taking care of his nine-year-old German Shepard who hates cats - and off course you have two and you don't know how much longer you can go without changing the litter box. However, they may be interested to hear that your stepfather taught you how to water ski.
4. Don't offer unsolicited advice. Ever. Even when you know the advice you have will save them $1,000.
Bonus step: give a little good-natured tease.

The best places for Chit-Chat: In-person networking events, the golf course, and Facebook. That's right. Facebook is the ultimate Chit-Chat place. People post a cute clip of their kids dancing to Lady GaGa. You and ten of their friends post a comment about it being sooooooooo cute. They let everyone know they appreciate the nice comments. Even though you haven't seen this person in four years, there is a bond. All it took was one line about how cute the kids were.

On the other hand, if you only looked at the clip and did not comment: no bond. You're a voyeur. This person will probably never respond to anything you post - and especially the post that makes them have to do something or involves money.

Same goes for an in-person event. Someone gives an awesome presentation. You leave afterward filled with great ideas about how you are going to improve your personal brand. Ooooooh, you can't wait to start updating your resume. But you don't make an effort to thank the speaker or talk to any of the other participants to get their thoughts.

Think you're going to build any relationships? Will anyone be happy to see you again at the next event? What if you turned to the person next to you, smiled, and said, "That point she made about knowing my true strengths is what I really needed to hear. How about you?"

There it is. Chit-Chat is a great way to build relationships (obviously there will be more in depth conversations, but in-person networking events and facebook are not the venue for those). I'll talk about golf later. Believe me there's a lot to be said about golf and chit-chat and networking...