Should I Stay or Should I Go? I say GO!

Have you ever found yourself debating about going somewhere – your high school reunion, a networking event, the store to buy more milk? I mean, really debating. The event is harmless enough but you just don’t have the energy to go. It's a little inconvenient - but you probably should go. You find yourself sitting on the couch with one shoe on, thinking, “Should I bother?”

My advice: Go. Put on that other shoe and GO. Those moments, the moments when you can’t see the immediate benefit of going to a function but there is nothing to lose by going, are usually the ones where something life-altering happens. Don’t believe me? I have two very specific examples. One for my personal life and one for my professional life.

The year: 1998. The month: November. I was in that stage of a love-life when your mantra is“who needs ‘em?” and happy with being there. I was at a really good place in my life - happy in my own skin and knowing what my skin looked like (warts and all).

I got word that my 10-year high school reunion was happening. Say no more, right? I didn’t sign up to go. All the people from high school who I wanted in my life were already in my life. I did, however, have much better hair, lost my baby fat (is it baby fat in high school??), and a WOW dress. I debated with myself whether I should go. It would be fun to show up after 10 years with a lot more confidence, a better fashion sense, and no Joan Jett hair. The night of the reunion, I brought my mom into the debate.

“Just go,” she told me.

I put on that dress and showed up at the reunion. Within five minutes, I saw him. “Who’s that??” I asked my friend. “That’s Bob Bellwoar,” she said in an isn’t-he-dreamy voice. [If you’ve notice my last name, you can guess the ending of this story.] I never knew him in high school, nor he me. We ran in different circles and had no shared classes. At the reunion, I made it my mission to get to know Bob Bellwoar - for the fun details, we can talk offline. Three kids later, we are still amazed at our luck -- he wasn’t going to go either!

Reunion coming up? Go.

I now offer you exhibit number 2:
The year: 2010. Three kids. Working part-time. Tinkering with the idea of going back full-time. Learn that there is a networking event for the Healthcare Businesswomen’s Association in Philadelphia. I’m debating on whether I want to go – I’m going to be late for it. It’s a little cold outside (once again the month is November - no lie). It's all the way in the city.

Ok, ok. I’ll go.

Thank God I did.

That was the night that I talked to Eileen O’Brien of Siren Interactive and let her know of my professional aspirations. Not long after, I got an email from Eileen introducing me to the women who is now my boss. Oh, and I serve on the Corporate Board for the HBA with the owner of the company – so when my name was mentioned, she knew who I was (I have to give that plug for the power of networking – especially with the HBA).

There you have it. When you feel that going to an event will neither make nor break you - and the only reason you're not convinced you should go is because it might be a little inconvenient: Go.

What else did I learn from these two events in my life:
1. When you're happy with who you are and what you're doing, others will be more willing to be a part of your life - so work at being happy and exude that confidence with being in your own skin.
2. Again, the power of chit-chat. I shared something about myself that opened up a new door. When you're networking with an acquaintance, be willing to share a part of your life that you wouldn't share with someone you've just met. It brings them into your circle.